Ramen and Sushi
by Kirika no Kyuubi
Summary: A male host in the prostitute district, Uzumaki Naruto is introduced to Uchiha Sasuke the most stickupthe ass, pretentious teme he'd ever had yet to meet, and takes it apon himself to remove said stick from said bastards ass.
1. Prologue

_Yo! This is my second serious story- the first FAYLED. XD. Fayled at life. So, this is another try- a try from someone who's only ever read ONE, Narusasu. Yep. I'm a reforming SasuNaru fan. Critisism are appreciated- like on my awful spelling/plot holes- but Flames- now, those, will be used to burn failed Gennin. Got it? Yeah. So, review away, if you think my story's worth me writing!  
Next chapter; I'll be holding a vote to see what other pairings will be written- and remember, Naruto and Sasuke don't have to be single, or unclaimed, in the beggining. The vote will include the biggest question of all-  
SasuNaru, or NaruSasu.  
So, yeah. Read and review!_

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** PROLOGUE **

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It was one of those small shops, the sort that frequent the more down town area of things- where old women, convinced they were at the prime of their life, might sit in disturbingly revealing clothing on the cold unforgiving pavement of the dusty sidewalk, beside them a few old men who wished to peddle their wares of broken glass and melded metals on worn blankets.

The surrounding area was full of 'trash', or 'scum', as some liked to title the wonderful occupants of Ore avenue- young bunches of children who housed in the run down apartment system, acting as a sort of 'gang'- a couple of seedy book stores which were run by ambitious homeless people- gender remains undecided- who want to bring the glamour back to the once popular settlement.

The only places that really gained any attention at all were the Whore Stops, where homeless prostitutes might strut their stuff- if they had anything worth selling- and show off their attributes, attending to the every whim and wish of the business men which served as costumers. 'Yes sir, no sir, twenty dollars sir', could be often heard, as well as 'Fuck, kink or blow?' from more of the forward ones. These interesting individuals were one of a kind- of course, that wasn't always a good thing, seeing as 'one of a kind' might mean, 'possessing deadly STD', or 'Rotting down there', or frankly, 'Can never get it up'. Despite this, no matter what the deficit or definite flaw, mostly all the little prostitutes got their pay by the end of the evening.

Just not always quite by 'whoring'. The Whore Stops weren't unpleasant, really- rather quaint, with their shag carpeting making it look like a hippie stop, yet the eerie sometimes crimson walls giving them a dank and morbid look. However, the bright pillows, blankets, and various sex instruments scattered around gave it less of a creepy appearance, and a more welcoming feel. Not that the various people lying around with their legs spread wasn't welcoming enough.

On the farthest corner of Ore avenue, closest to the main area of the city, there was a particularly noticeable Whore Stop- its walls an unusual shade of lime green, and its carpeting black. The light fixtures cast a dim glow- rather fancy, due to the fact it used to be a four star hotel- across a series of bright orange pillows coupled with blankets an equally painful colour of blue, undistinguishable splatters of something or other spotting both here and there.

This Whore Stop was rented by some of the finest whores, the ones that raised the most money- whether with thieving from their poor costumers wallets, or from selling their body, mattered little to the landlord, Sarutobi. This Whore Stop had one more distinguishable thing about it- besides the running plumbing, of course- the fact that the whores there took two clients, and two clients only.

Its sign read;

**KONOHA**


	2. Chapter one, Of Youth and Uchiha

Allright, here I go again! This chapter might not be written as well as the Prologue; seeing as I only had two hours free to write this chapter; and I hadn't planned it before hand. But, what's life without a little gamble, huh? This story is meant to be written in Naruto's POV, first person/second person, with a few flashes from the other peoples view- but seeing as this chapter has no Naruto... This chapter contains the pairing vote-

-First and most important-

NaruSasu or SasuNaru 

Should there be anyone else the main characters are paired with?

Such as a side pairing like;

ItaSasu  
NaruSaku

_SakuSasu  
E.t.c?  
_Side pairing suggestions?  
Such as-

ShikaTem  
KibaHina  
ChoujiIno  
SakuIno  
SakuHina  
NejiGaara

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**Of youth and Uchiha**

Ch1 .

" Uchiha. I didn't drive us all the way out into a place like _this_ for you to dawdle and stare at every prostitute you see."  
The 'this' was punctuated by an exaggerated shudder on the darkly clothed mans, no, boys; behalf. Pale; white skin, eerie yet sensual pale violet eyes, and long black hair tied back with a grey hair tie; yes, Hyuuga Neji was a sight to behold, even when cringing with distaste over his less then favourable surroundings. But then again, he _had_ agreed to show his closest friend where he went every Monday night; though now he was regretting every moment of it. The so-named Uchiha was currently glancing around with an increasing disgust for the street walkers and their clientele; and if he didn't find some way to prevent his usually quick to criticize companion from expressing his most probably negative opinion, the already hassled Hyuuga would find himself with a miniture mob on his hands. Talking with uncharacteristic volume, he started to spew out information on just where they were going as he steered the black haired heir down the dirt covered grimy sidewalks.  
" Now, don't go down that alleyway; peddlers; and avoid turning right at this intersection; that's where the prostitutes with STD's usually place themselves- " And so he kept talking, ignoring the fact the Uchiha had already opened his mouth several times in an attempt to request just _why_ he needed to know this stuff, _where _exactly they were going, _how_ Neji could stand a place full of filth like this; and _what_ Neji was doing knowing all this stuff anyways. Stopping infront of a large, brick building, he was finally permitted the chance to ask all the questions that had been plagueing his mind; but was too busy gaping at the sign above head. **Konoha**, it stated in bold letters, and under that, _the royal host and whore society._ This was where Neji had been going every Monday? Neji watched with brief amusement as the other boy turned on his heel to march away- and caught the cuff of his dark blue Uchiha blouse, pulling him with him as he entered into the frighteningly colored lobby. Almost immediately, a young man with a bowl cut of dark hair ran up and literally attempted to choke Neji to death. Well, at least, that's what it looked like to any bystander.

" **NEJI SAN, my YOUTHFUL friend!**" Twitching at the boys loud demeanor; though he should be used to it by now; he tugged the 'attackers' arms off from around his neck one handedly, making sure to keep a firm hold on his companions arm as he did so. Heaving a sigh, " Lee, is it _possible, _perhaps, to talk in a quieter tone?"

" **But then no youthful deaf costumers would be able to hear me! YOSH! That would be HORRIBLE!**"  
" Yes. '_Horrible._'" Muttered the Hyuuga's companion, voice cold and irritated. This statement alerted Lee to the violet eyed boys friend; and he perked up, black eyes bright; if this was possible; with enthusiasm as he began to cling to the Uchiha with a certain vigor, grinning up at him with white, sparkling teeth, which caused even the most accustomed to cringe in their presence.

"This is Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke; Rock Lee."

Lee glanced from Neji to his friend to Neji again, and then exclaimed; fortunately, in a normal tone of voice this time;

" Neji san! Is this your youthful lover?"

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was up to his neck with complaints, disgust, anger, and mortification. He'd merely asked his acquantance, Hyuuga Neji, where he went every Monday night; seeing as he often had to stay in, that night, to avoid being mobbed by overly friendly receptionists, etc; and though he was a self proclaimed antisocial, a _little_ human contact a day really couldn't hurt any. Immediately after being asked that, Neji had demanded he pick his most drab outfit, and come with him on the next Monday he had free. Of course, that was every Monday; so he'd found himself sitting on his balcony four days later. Then his assosiate had shown up wearing little better then common rags; and he'd _known_ something was up. The Hyuuga was just; if not more; socially and fashionly- may Itatchi haunt him if that was not a word; conscious as he was, and it made little to no sense whatsoever that he'd suddenly decided, after years of wearing only the best, that a second rate thrift shop was good enough for him. Next in the line of suspicions was when Neji began to drive _towards_ the darkened end of town; instead of away as any sane man might do. This was getting progressively more and more confusing, as well; everything the long haired boy was doing was quite contrary to almost three quarters of what Sasuke knew about him. But the final straw was when Neji had parked- right outside of a sign that was labled; **Sex for Drugs**. What. The. Bloody. Hell. Not one to express any emotion other then cold amusement/ distantly veiled reproach; it was very startling for him to feel another, Un Uchihalike old emotion rise up; anger. This was most _certainly_ a prank of some sort. It had to be; there was no other explanation for it. Hyuuga Neji had sunk to the level of a common man, and was playing some sort of hideous prank on him, which would most probably end with a few dozen TV camera's pointed at his face and a man shouting,  
" You just got _PUNKED!_"  
Yes. That was the perfect explanation for all this madness. 

It must be.  
However, the peculiarities continued;first, he began to talk in a loud voice about which areas of this horrible district to avoid;honestly, all he really would have _had_ to say was; Ru n while you still can; and Sasuke would have wholeheartedly agreed. But no. Neji kept leading him further and further into the dim, gloomy surroundings; and he began to highly doubt his earlier theory that this was some sort of prank. After all; who would WANT to play out a prank in a place like this? Dispite that fact, his Uchiha pride clung desperately to his theory, and even went so far as to try to ask some questions to get his friend to admit I;- though the other pale boy was quite quick to cut them off. It suddenly seemed, however, that they had finally arrived at their destination, as Neji had suddenly come to a stop outside of….. he stared at the sign, just one look; and attempted to march away. However, that wonderful escape seemed not to be a choice of his as he found himself dragged unceremoniously inside of the walls.

And his eyes _burned._ His poor, _poor _Uchiha eyes. The fluorescent colors, the clashing pillows, the frighteningly crude décor;how anyone could stand even _sitting_ in this place was beyond Sasuke. He inwardly cursed the fact he hadn't brought his usual hand sanitizer, and took the trouble of glancing towards Neji's handbag to wonder if there was perhaps any in there. It was at that very moment when a streak of green and black- much like the walls and carpet; ran in and attempted to _maul_ the Hyuuga; and surprisingly enough, Neji still managed to keep a firm hand on Sasukes blouse. ER. Shirt. How he did it, he'd never know. Distantly tuning into the loud, almost eardrum breaking exclamations coming from the most probably diagnosed manic boy, he managed to catch the last statement; and snorted, muttering his own sarcastic contribution to the conversation.

Yet, he wasn't sure how THAT had managed to trigger the awful fate he was suffering at this moment; white teeth flashing, blinding his already wounded eyes; hands clinging around him, and an excited, loud voice, yelping in his ears. Was this molestation? … … … … Or was it some sort of punishment prescribed only by prostitutes…? Whichever it was, the terrifying being clinging to him wasn't his key concern- right now, his concern was what the one named Lee had somehow assumed. Now, Uchiha Sasuke had never questioned his orientation- he was asexual; and if not that; gay. True, he found women attractive; but in appearance only; he never found himself falling under an urge to touch them. Maybe to inch _away;_ but never to inch _forwards._ Men, however; he'd questioned his asexuality often, seeing as he was mostly surrounded by attractive males in the days of his career- but had never actually thought to question it to the point where he gave into the random thought of a kiss; or even the briefest bit of flirting.

Uchiha's do NOT flirt.

Uchiha's do NOT feel attraction to anyone other then themselves.

Uchiha's do NOT drabble in relationships.

For that would ruin the perfect flawnessness of an Uchiha; and _that_ was unacceptable.

So, when the green Lee had asked if he and his friend; he still found that word a little weird, to be honest; were lovers, it was his primary urge to let his jaw unhinge, eyes bulge, and shoulders slump with absolute and utter shock. But, of course; that was _not_ Uchiha-like. So, instead, he gave the bowlcut-boy a hardened, icy glare of the coldest climates, and narrowed his eyes into slits, and tugged one arm away from Neji's hand in order to cross his arms in his number one '_I mean you mental harm_' stance of doom. He nicknamed this glare; the Sharingan.

" _No. The __**Hyuuga.**_ And _**I**_. _Are __not __**lovers.**_"

* * *

Such unfriendliness, Lee had never SEEN! And that glare; oh, that glare made him progress into a sort of shock that not even his best friend Neji san could keep him out. Giving him a once over, once more; he, Rock Lee, came to a decision. Uchiha Sasuke; was depressed. Emo. Whatever the word was for it. There was no other reason why he could have said the wonderful Neji was not his boyfriend in such evil tones. And Lee had sworn to himself; long ago- that he would go against all things depressed and emo. Because he was a bringer of **YOUTH!** Stumbling away from Sasuke, his eyes were wide, shocked, and dumb for a moment- before a burning determination filled them, so strong that Sasuke took a step back at the force of youth in them!  
….. Then again, it might have also been the fact that Neji had begun to tug the Uchiha away. That could be it, also. His wonderful friend, Neji, heaved a sigh, then walked forward to place a hand on Lee's shoulder. What was this? Was Neji coming to aid him in his rant against all things sad? But no, instead, his dearest friend leaned over to murmer in his ear; 

" Lee. If you even begin the rant against depression, I swear, you will be out of a job."

… Betrayal. And from a friend so close, too! Retracting within himself for a few seconds, he was suddenly back in his prime- flashing a bright, friendly grin, one hand on his hips as he whacked- er, pat- Neji in the back with a cheer of,  
" YOSH! Never fear! I shall not speak a word of it!"

* * *

And thus the first chapter was saved. 

_Yeah, sorry about the randomness- I'm high on pocky, don't ya know! XD. I know my chapter isn't very good- but I tried, I tried. I'm just glad I managed to write ANYTHING in two hours, ya'know? XD. So, yeah. If anyone thinks my pitiful story is worth upkeeping, I need five-four reviews. Please vote! _


	3. Chapter two, Teme Duck ass from Hell

_**N**_**ARUSASU HAS WON! **

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ENTER UZUMAKI NARUTO!!!__

I, Uzumaki Naruto, am completely bewildered; confused; and whatever other words could be used to describe this situation. I was in the middle of making out with another prostitutes costumer; some overweight guy who thought that having a teenager one third of his age kiss him was somehow worth two hundred dollars; when suddenly there were SHOUTS from downstairs. No, folks, I don't mean, our usual, 'Ahn, ooh, harder!' Or, even, 'OH FUCKING GOD OW!'; Trust me. We have our share of those, thanks to Gaachan. I mean, serious, Lee caused, ' YAYNESS!'. Which means only one thing. New costumer/ and or Neji. Either or is fine with me. One hand; hey, more cash for Gamachan! On the other hand, pretty boy to get news from/Pretend to molest. I push away from the old coot infront of me; hey, he's had his kiss, now he has to pay up! He's disgruntled- heh, funny word, eh? Disgruntled? But gives me the cash anyways. Ha. So there. I blow him a kiss, flash him The Eyes; and trot off; Peh, as if!;- I quickly run downstairs, orange scarf swinging behind me. Have I ever said how much I love that scarf? It has a fox face! Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. I swing down the banister; much less painful then you think. Helps when you make sure it's your ass that's against the banister when you straddle it, not your Mr.Big. Soon enough, there I am; sprawled on the black carpet, heh, should have planned my landing better, neh? Oh well, what's done is done!

I glance up; expecting to see A) Costumer making out with Lee or B) Neji patting Lee awkwardly on the head, but definitely not C) Hot, cute, rich-boy glaring at Lee. Oooh. Yeah. There's Neji too. Forgot. Easy to forget when you're staring at the ass of a sex god. I inwardly slapped myself on the cheek; the wonderful, smexy Uzumaki Naruto does not stare at a mere costumer as if he is worthy of worship. Even if their glare burns like the intensity of a thousand suns- OI, BAKA! NO POETRY! With a huff, I stand up on my feet- APPARENTLY, I'm not even WORTHY of acknowledging! Resisting the urge to scream out, 'DAMNIT, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!' I instead stare meaningfully at their backs until they get my point. Aaaany second now.

Well, fuck. Seems like they're mighty good at ignoring me.

Time for plan B.  
" **HEY NEJI!**"

And I cling. I cling like cling has never clinged before. I cling like cling clings when it's in a mood to cling.

And, predictably, Neji goes red, Lee laughs, and costumer goes wide eyed with shock and disgust. AH. So the cute guy; would have thought it was a girl if he hadn't been so flat in the boob department; is one of _those._ A high up, snobby, rich, 'I've never seen anything more then a girl pecking a guy on the lips', guy. UGH. I HATE those! _Even_ when they have slanted, pretty dark eyes which remind me of the darkest of snowy black nights… ARGH! NOT AGAIN! Neji, of course, right now, has pried himself away, and is rolling his eyes, sending a glare at the other boy as if to warn him not to say anything. Wait, I get it now. I GET it!!! Richboy Neji's friends started worrying about where he kept disappearing to, so they send the bravest of them all to see what was up! And, of course, me and Lee were meant to help assuage the friends worries that we were tainting his mind.

Eheh. As if.

My grin grew wider; if possible; and I detatched myself completely from Neji, now striding confidently towards the other boy. An inch taller; no problem; my only costumer… the fat old man was someone elses I took of their hands… , Sai, is two inches taller then me, and he's never gotten the delusion I'm submissive before. Well, maybe once. Or twice. Three times was all! But with this guy… … … I fixed on my sultriest grin, and leaned in so that my mouth was by his ear, and whispered,

" You one of Neji chan's friends?"

And holy piece of crap he fainted.

He's lying on MY couch right now, face pale; though that might be natural for him; and his eyes closed as he breathes softly in and out, one hand on his chest and the other loosely by his side. He murmers something under his breath; is he still fainted, or is he in some sort of deep sleep? I straddle his waist; and Neji, returning from the living room, tugging a heart moniter behind him; Where the FUCK did he get that? ; gives me the oddest look while attatching the pump to his arm. Suddenly, I stop him, and the Hyuuga gives me yet another odd look; but I know what I'm doing. I lean over, so that my face is only an inch away from the girly boys face, then shout,  
"WAKY WAKY!"

What happened next SO wasn't planned.

* * *

Sasukes eyes flew open as a loud noise blared in his ears, and he dove upwards; to find something warm against his lips. Something inside his mouth… a tongue? He pressed upwards a bit, feeling a bit confused as to why he was kissing- Wait a MINUTE! His eyes flew open, as he coughed out with shock, and pushed the intruder of his private space away, gagging as he wiped his lips off with the back of his hand- and found himself staring at the loud blond model from earlier.

Well, he had to be a model. Tanned skin, a hot black wife beater, though the orange shorts and the scarf seemed slightly immature, blond hair which spiked up and hung over his eyes, and the odd, very odd whisker marks on his cheeks lending the boy a feral appearance… … … Yes. This was model material. At least, that had been his initial impression. Until he opened his mouth.

Then, that impression had fallen right through the roof. A more loud, annoying creature he'd never seen, and it was his every intention to turn heel and run away, ignoring Neji's warning glare- when the unindentifiable creature had suddenly crept up to him when he was unaware, looking shockingly different from the image he'd represented only moments before, and murmered a question in a sultry tone; what it was, he was unaware, because he'd already been knocked unconscious by the idiotic blond. NO, he hadn't fainted- Uchiha do NOT faint! He'd merely been knocked unconscious by that overhyperactive prostitute which had most probably ended up somehow tossing him to the floor and knocking his head against it. Never mind the lack of headache. He was SURE he had it ALL figured out. He KNEW he was right this time- Uchiha's are never wrong.

Right?

… … But. What the _hell._ He found himself gaping dumbly; er, staring in shock; Uchiha's don't gape; at the brightly colored boy, and when he snapped out of it, he opened his mouth to complain; only to find the other'd beaten him to the punch.

" **YOU BASTARD!** You stole a free kiss!" The Uchiha guy; as Neji had told me his name was, Sassy or somethin' ; stared at me as if _I_ was the one who'd gotten a kiss stolen. No way in heck. It was HIS fault! HE was the one to duck his head forward and… … I kept back a grin at the memory of that kiss. Allright, it hadn't been THAT bad. A bit sloppy, maybe, a little tiny bit amature on the other boys side… but… it was allright, he supposed. But that _wasn't_ the point. Uchiha Sassy had taken a kiss from the greatness of ME, and dared to look affronted; shocked, DISGUSTED!? The ASS! The… …. … I stared at the back of his hair from where I'd fallen onto the floor the second time that day. That DUCK ASS!

" _I_ stole a kiss? YOU were the one who chose to place himself ontop of me in a way that guarunteed the fact that when I started with shock, that we would be forced into a liplock! You … … blond… DOBE!"

Woah, fancy language … … wait… did he just call me… … twitch. Twitch twitch.

Twitch Twitch Twitch. Now Lee was staring at me with fear, cowering slightly as he paused; then ran off to do something or other far, far away from here. GOOD. He probably didn't want to see what was about to occur. I don't much care for violence, unless provoked; but against a, a, a, a, TEME DUCK ASS FROM HELL, bring it ON! And so, giving a battle cry, I lept apon the evil raven haired smex god, shaking him repeatedly. He's shaking me violently right back, and I suppose it looks like some sort of odd ancient embrace; but trust me, it's not. Right now, I'm pretty sure both me and the Uchiha mean complete pain and harm towards one another.

" **TEME TEME **_**TEME!**_"

" **DOBE DOBE **_**DOBE!**_

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_Yeah, I know- short chapter- but I had to finish off the last twelve paragraphs before school; so. You can trust in me- updates will be much faster, if anyone's still interested in this story. Hate it or love it- PLEASE still review!_


	4. On Hiatus until later notice

**HIATUS**

I'm having major writers block, from A) Muse blockage, B) Lack of reviews, C) My usual motivation failure. So, as of now, all stories are on Hiatus, and I will only be writing one shots here and there. And I don't care if I spelt Hiatus wrong, dearies. I'm not that good with grammar, if ya'll hadn't guessed. 3 So, hoping any that actually care aren't that annoyed... I bid y'all adieu.


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